I genuinely believe that almost all parents want what is best for their children. Every parent may do this in one or the other way but they still want the best for their children. Mammals are designed in this particular way, which makes them protective towards their new born. They teach them to eat, hunt and live their lives. But the foremost quality of a mammal is that they make their kids independent so they know how to handle themselves in the big bad world not make them cowards that they start repenting the very existence of their life. Take lions for example it takes 2 to 3 years for their mother to train them and then lets them go to be on their own accord. But any lioness would just lash at anything that would try to harm her cubs.
I think the most protective mammal has to be the human. They don’t really understand when to let go even if the kids are old enough. While I was writing this, I did some research and found out about the right word for such sort of parenting.
I truly feel that I have an amazing mother who has literally dedicated her entire life for me and my siblings. But she married when she was 18 years old. The time when you go out and explore the world, she was hitched. So by the age she was 20 she had her first born, me. I can’t even imagine being 20 and raising a kid. Since she was so young, I think her world sort of revolved around me, as I was her only child for 6 years. I love the fact that my mother was so invested in me and wanted me to be the perfect person in every possible way. There are not many mothers or fathers that pay so much attention and time in the upbringing of their children. I truly appreciate it, even more so when I grew up and found how many of my friend’s parents are least interested in them.
But I believe too much of anything, can destroy you. We all love eating don’t we? But over eating, might cause problems for our bodies. Similarly over loving a child can cause a lot of problems for the child too. Now that I am old enough and understand I am going to share a little story about myself so all the parents or parents to be can understand better how to raise their kids.
Every human being is different from one another and there are different things that trigger each one of us. For the longest period of time I struggled with myself and I just couldn’t understand what was so wrong with me. Why didn’t I feel comfortable with people around me, especially new people? I started doubting myself. I was on low self-esteem with no confidence. I often pondered as to why I was like that. I wasn’t good at expressing myself because I thought if I do, people might think badly of me. I was very self-conscious around people. Yes I had friends but I was never really close to anyone because I always thought everyone is judging me for the worst.
This was not my real personality because I have heard stories of my childhood and they were all about how loving, carefree and social I was with everyone, especially the new people. Over time my mother kept inducing into my mind how the world is a bad place and everyone in it is bad and judging you continuously, so I needed to act in a certain way otherwise I’ll be damned for life. I have spent about 10 years of my life believing that to be true. I made a bubble around me and stayed in it so the big bad world couldn’t get to me. That’s what you call an introvert. I was very unhappy obviously because I wanted to be carefree and socialize with new people and have fun but I was too scared as to might just happen. Only three things mattered to my mother, behaving nicely, grades and staying home in my bubble because she genuinely thought it was the safest place to be. The pressure was immense and there is no surprise I tried to kill myself over getting a D in one of the subjects. It was right after I started university that I realized what had just happened to me and I took a year to transform myself completely because I was finally out of my mother’s reach.
If anyone meets me today they can’t tell if I’m the same person, today I’m confident, out spoken and social. I popped that bubble and I can finally breathe freely, no longer thinking the world is out to get me instead I take it as my ouster and I can do whatever I want to. I had to work very hard to be the way I’m today.
Parents need to understand that telling your kid how to behave is good but you should provide your children with a choice, the good and the bad. Show them what good would do and what bad would do but the ultimate choice should be theirs so they know how to trust their instincts and face the world head on. You can’t force your child into being something he or she isn’t and you should be proud of them for making even those wrong decisions because that’s how they learn.